the ex

you always did know how to make me feel stupid. to make me feel worthless & unattractive. im glad we arent together anymore. 

sadness

i think the reason ive been so bummed recently is that a lot of the people i know are getting married. they have found their one & only (hopefully)...its just everywhere i look friends of mine are making plans and seem so stressed but happy and they are pretty much all under the age of 30...here i am at the age of 32 and im still single. single & damaged goods. i just keep thinking who is going to want me? i just want to be happy, happiness is a hard thing to find apparently. 

Sad times

How come men only see me as a person for sex? I just don't understand why I'm not taken seriously as a woman. I'm funny, smart, pretty (more cute I guess), I have good taste in movies & some music. I just don't understand why men just want to use me. It's really sad. 

i guess it'll pass

im feeling pretty f'n sad today. i dont know. sometimes i just look around at my apartment, which is decent...its got a study area that is filled with my art stuff and a great desk and i hardly go in there to do anything. its wasted space. wasted space i pay for. wasted. that is what today should be called. wasted space. so in this sized apartment i live alone. there are no prospects, ive been dumped twice recently. dumped to the curb and muddy feet wiped upon. life just seems pretty stupid and pointless sometimes. i just wanna stop being alone. i want to fill this empty void called my life right now. 

Yum

There ain't nothing better than an orgasm to help with menstrual cramps...I only wish I was having orgasms with someone rather than alone. That's my only complaint I guess. Ill probably get off again tonight before bed...like I said, wish I had someone to share my orgasms with.

Blind Hearts

Deep in our hearts

We are alone 

Deep in our blind hearts 

Skin and bone 

Blech

So I just started watching the new season of Face Off. One of the newbies is named ______. He is Mexican of course & is wearing a jean jacket vest. So punk. I'm hoping he gets eliminated pretty soon so I don't have to listen to that fucking name anymore. Fuck. 

Party