once again

well once again i stand here broken hearted...fuck. i feel like an asshole. i feel like an asshole for falling for your shit again. im sorry but thats just not how you treat a person you love. its just not. i guess you throw the word love around like its nothing...i dont. i only say it when i mean it. i should have known you were going to do this shit again. i should have fucking known. you always cancelling your trips down here to see me. you drinking all the time even though i told you it made me feel uncomfortable. you never sending off my care packages because you saying you were too busy. fuck that. its laziness pure and simple. that or its you just being miserable and unhappy in your own life. i could have helped you. i loved you even though you were going through crap in your own life. but instead of using the love i have to give...you push me away...

AGAIN. ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT THE WAY YOU HAVE DONE THIS TWICE TO US. TO ME. HOW MUCH HURT CAN YOU FUCKING PUT ME THROUGH?? A LOT APPARENTLY. HOW DARE YOU NOT REPLY TO MY MESSAGES OF LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR YOU! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. I LOVED YOU AND YOU JUST THREW ME ASIDE. AGAIN. AGAIN. AGAIN. AGAIN. AGAIN.