My body is a broken down temple

I deserve

When I last saw you, I brought home with me loads of good feelings, smiles, a warm heart & some shirts you gave me. When we ended I took those shirts and reconstructed them to suit me...to make them about me and not you. And now that we are once again over I see them hanging in my closet and I just don't want to even look at them. The shirts alone bring up feelings I don't want to feel anymore. I'm packing them away, I won't trash them. 

But...

I deserve better.

Truth

sleep aid

man oh man i wish i had some sleep aid...it would be so nice to just drift off into some deep sleep...i need a good deep sleep. maybe some nighttime cold medicine (?) i also should have bought some milk because i forgot i had some fruit loops. 
good news! this friend of mine is helping me get my jewelry out and about! he said he has a couple people who are very interested in some earrings ive made. im really pumped!
ok. bed time. 

Sad sack

I am so tired of this crap. I know people move on but I hate seeing those who have betrayed me or broken my heart happy. I just hate it. I guess I'm a bitter girl. I don't know. The ex of mine seems to have found his soul mate which doesn't bother me that much because we didn't share years together. He just drug me around for years and years. Shane...the love I had for almost 7 years...the man I thought I was going to marry...he seems to have moved on...that hurts. I know we aren't meant to be together but still...I want that happiness again...I want to be with someone till the end...the asshole from Chicago...he dropped me again! He did the same thing twice! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM??? How does he expect to go through life being such a pussy?? Not going after his dreams, hiding behind others and not taking responsibility for his own actions. It's just such a waste. I'm gonna be honest, I loved that idiot. That fucking idiot. I just feel lost. I feel lost without him. I know I'll survive without these people...but I just want someone to be with. 

Fuck. Here I am again, sad.